Being mindful in this moment

I was awake most of the night, being woken up by the ferocious winds billowing around the camper trailer.  As I was going to sleep, I was feeling pretty miserable with myself as I hadn’t eaten well that day and felt quite sick as a result.  When I kept waking in the night, I was still feeling down about it.  As is usual for me, I was ruminating how I should stop drinking coke; that I should start eating better; that I shouldn’t have eaten so much, etc etc.  And then the reminder came to me that instead of feeling depressed in these times when I feel like I’ve been a failure, that instead I need to be mindful in this moment and focus on now and relax into my breathing.   The problem is that when I try to make plans for how to stop the behaviour or change my habits and then worry about if it’s the right choice etc, I am focused on the future.  And when I feel bad about myself about what I have done, it’s based on guilt over the past.  These emotions (worry over the past, and fear of the future) just cause conflicts for myself.  I have to thank Eckhart Tolle for this advice, and thank my guides for reminding me.

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