Last night in my journal I wrote about ‘checking in with my body when I crave coke, instead of letting my mind tell me that I want it.’
The idea of listening to my body, and feeling what it needs rather than listening to my mind, has been on my mind over the last week or so.
On another point, I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘being in the now’, especially after my ‘Lisa’ messages (refer a previous entry, relating to In The Now).
So when I was going through the bookcase today (which I had to do in order to make room for all the new books I’d acquired over the Xmas and holiday period), as soon as I came across Eckhart’s ‘Practicing the Power of Now’ book I knew it was relevant for me at this time in my life. (Also the cover is orange, which has been a colour influencing me a lot lately).
And to bring it back to the beginning of this post…. I took a break from the clean out and lay down to read a bit of the book. I opened up to a random page, and there it was talking about ‘Don’t just think with your head, think with your whole body’.
I was awake most of the night, being woken up by the ferocious winds billowing around the camper trailer. As I was going to sleep, I was feeling pretty miserable with myself as I hadn’t eaten well that day and felt quite sick as a result. When I kept waking in the night, I was still feeling down about it. As is usual for me, I was ruminating how I should stop drinking coke; that I should start eating better; that I shouldn’t have eaten so much, etc etc. And then the reminder came to me that instead of feeling depressed in these times when I feel like I’ve been a failure, that instead I need to be mindful in this moment and focus on now and relax into my breathing. The problem is that when I try to make plans for how to stop the behaviour or change my habits and then worry about if it’s the right choice etc, I am focused on the future. And when I feel bad about myself about what I have done, it’s based on guilt over the past. These emotions (worry over the past, and fear of the future) just cause conflicts for myself. I have to thank Eckhart Tolle for this advice, and thank my guides for reminding me.