30th April, 2019
Most mornings I wake up feeling tired and lethargic and sickly, and my heart starts to race as soon as I roll over. I used to think it was due to the excessive amounts of Coca-Cola that I drank. Though I haven’t had any for a week now, and still this morning I woke up feeling particularly seedy, and in particular I felt so heavy and downtrodden. I wrote in my journal:
Ugh… I just feel so… sad, I think. I feel so sickly and pushed down and my heart is heavy.
I asked the Healing Angels to let me know how to open my heart. And then I realised that I just felt like my heart would crack open – like if I try to open it, it will break.
So I asked why.
Why is my heart so brittle and tight and closed up?
It’s so dried up.
It needs moisture. It needs emotions. I’ve kept my emotions away from my heart for so long – I’ve pushed them down into my gut instead of letting them come up and be expressed in my heart. But it needs the moisture of the emotions to stay supple and plump and healthy. It’s ok to feel the emotions. Just start slowly. Each day ask yourself what you are feeling – and let yourself feel it.
I truly felt like this was advice from the Healing Angels or my spirit team or my higher self, so I gave thanks for the guidance I received.
[Water can be a symbol of emotions and is often associated with the feminine. Usually bodies of water in my dreams represent emotions. So I have associated water with emotions. And tears are water too.]
Throughout the day today I thought about this concept and realised that all the coke I’ve drunk over these past years has dehydrated my heart and body and depleted all the moisture and nutrients. (Metaphorically and physically). I know my body is dehydrated. And lately I’ve been becoming aware of how I have used eating junk food and drinking Coca-Cola as a way to push down my emotions so I can’t feel them.
Lately I’ve often sensed, when tuning in to how my body feels, that the chakra energies are unable to flow upwards, that the feelings are stuck in my sacral and solar plexus, that they can’t rise to the heart chakra so I can feel them, and then up to the throat chakra so I can express them.