Healing the soul of disease

I’ve been listening to an audiobook, ‘Dying to Wake Up’ by Dr Rajiv Parti.  It’s a fascinating account of his Near Death Experience (NDE) and consequently his change of lifestyle and occupation after his recovery.

He talks of how the light being and the angels told him to change his career and focus on providing ‘consciousness based healing’ to heal diseases of the soul.  These diseases include addiction, depression and chronic pain.  When hearing these ailments being read out, I thought, ‘oh yes, I need help with those’ (in particular addiction and depression) and thought about how it was interesting that they were classified as diseases of the soul (rather than diseases of the body).  I thought about this concept a couple of times when it came up throughout listening to the book.

It was only later, when reflecting about the book and the messages, it suddenly occurred to me, that this concept is all about healing the soul – just like the title of my blog, Heal My Soul!!  I thought about how this is another case of serendipity and the universe calling out to me.  Whether the message to me is that I need to heal my own diseases of my soul, mainly my addiction to coca-cola, by using the techniques that perhaps he might talk about in the book (I haven’t finished it yet, and anticipate that he may do so later in the book) or it could be a reminder to get back on track with this blog, which I see as my creative outlet, which, once again, I have let slide and fall away.

A while back, (around the time that I came up with the title of my blog, Heal My Soul) I was thinking about my health and how energy-less and drained I felt, I found myself getting a picture in my mind, or a sensation, which when I tried to put into words, was that I felt like I was a wounded warrior who needed to retreat and heal before going back into battle.  It was the idea that it was my soul that was the wounded warrior, and it was my soul that needed healing.

This concept comes back to me now with the idea of healing my soul of disease.

Loving myself

Last night in bed before going to sleep I asked God that if there is a message he wanted me to receive and I wake up for it, to please help me remember it in the morning, and to go back to sleep quickly. 

I did wake in the night, not surprisingly, with words in my head. I woke, thought about it and went back to sleep. In the morning I couldn’t remember the details of the message but knew it was about loving myself. 

Later this morning, I was on the way to work and stepped out of the lift and saw the Triple the Love billboard ad that I’ve seen before and written about. It has been a sign in the past to love myself, (refer a previous post).  This ad was quite prominent and really did stare me in the face.   I took a photo as a reminder. 

Finding my earring

Last night I was taking out my earring and the back clasp fell out of my hands and I could feel it as it fell down past my clothes and heard it drop on the floor at my feet.  I thought ‘phew, I heard it drop so I know it will just be there, it’ll be easy to recover’. So I knelt down to look for it, but couldn’t see it anywhere.  I put on my glasses, and grabbed the phone for the torch and thoroughly scoured the floor.  I knew it had to just be there.  I searched everywhere in the vicinity, but I still couldn’t find it… so I looked further afield and laid down on the carpet to peer under the cabinet and the bed.  When I was down on the floor like this, an inner urging tempted me to just turn off the phone and forget about it.  I was about to, then my mind, feeling frustrated, thought ‘no, it really has to be here, it should be easy to find; try again’.

I made myself get up and I searched the whole area completely again, feeling more and more frustrated as I searched in all the same spots, more and more thoroughly, and even more further afield, knowing that it couldn’t have gone that far.  I was pretty cranky by this stage.  ‘It should just be here!’  Once again I laid down on the floor looking under the furniture.  This time I heard the urging again.  I was drawn to just turn the torch off, and to lay down.  As this was the second time I felt this, I realised I should listen to this inner guidance.  So I turned off the torch, and decided to relax; and then I felt an inclination to do some floor stretching exercises while I was there.  Stretching has been on my mind a lot lately as I think it’s something my body needs more of.  I stretched and focused on my breathing and I felt calm and enjoyed the release. I forgot all about the earring clasp. After about 5-10 minutes of this, I sat up while preparing to stand up, and… what do you know… there right in front of me, in the exact same spot that I had been standing when I dropped it, was the earring back!  It was just there shining at me!

I could see why it had been hard to see, as it was so tiny and kind of squished into the carpet, and without light coming from certain angle, the gold colour just blended in with the carpet colour.  From the different angle that I was now seated at, the light was on it, so it was obvious.

This is a reminder that in times of frustration when things are going wrong, it helps to stop, relax, breathe, and stop the mind saying what the situation should be.  Try to look at things from a different angle.  Most importantly, listen to that inner voice that is always trying to be heard.  Listen to that voice instead of letting the mind always taking control.

Yelling at myself

I was dreaming last night that a young woman at work was being a bitch and then stormed off when I tried to reprimand her. At one stage I was saying to her that it is so rude to yell at someone saying that you are really angry or upset with them and then walk off and refuse to listen to them for their side of the story.  When I woke up I knew this woman represented me when I yell at myself internally for not being good enough but then don’t honour myself by listening to what my feelings are trying to tell me.  I don’t give myself a chance to express how I’m feeling or let out my emotions. The fact that she was young probably refers to me being immature.  (The woman in the dream wasn’t actually anyone I do know at work, but I wonder if the situation of being ‘at work’ refers to things in my life which I consider ‘work’, like working on improving myself.)

In the dream, when I tried to confront her, she stormed off and didn’t listen to me.  She refused to be pulled up on her behaviour.  Which, if I’m honest with myself, is just like me, when I refuse to acknowledge to myself that I need to change my behaviour or that I need to listen to how I’m feeling.

Dreams… and avocados

This morning I wrote in my journal about how I had so many dreams last night.  Many of the spirituality/personal development books I read, the authors say that writing down the dreams is essential as a practice of learning to access our subconscious self, or listening to the messages that the spirit guides give us, and for developing the relationship with our inner souls.

I have always followed this philosophy myself, however I am often overwhelmed by how many dreams I do have, (and in so much detail), and that if I was to write them all down each morning, I would spend too much time every day on this practice.

The other thing I find is that I have so many dreams that I often wake feeling like my mind has been working all night, and I don’t feel refreshed.

But anyway, this morning I decided to pick a couple of things from the night to write down.

I chose to write first about one particular snippet, not because I could remember the whole dream and details, but because when I woke (early this morning at 4.55am) it prompted me to write it down in the notebook I leave beside my bed. I just wrote the word ‘avocado’ as this seemed relevant and stood out for me in my half-asleep state.

When it came to writing down the dream relating to this, I couldn’t really remember the dream itself.  It was something about something eating something (yes I know that’s VERY vague!).  I had a feeling it had something to do with a robot eating avocado, although I couldn’t actually remember if that was the case.  While writing this, I had a sense of the robot needing the oils, and it made me think of the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, who always wanted a heart.  So maybe I thought, the dream referred to me being a robot – just going through the motions without any emotions, or without any heart.  When I wrote that down, it spoke to me. That is how I feel my life is lately – just going through life getting everything done that needs to be done (work, kitchen duties, driving and helping out the kids, household administration, social obligations etc) but then no time is left over for the things that inspire me, that talk to my heart (like this blog, photography, art, sewing, personal development etc).  I realised I need to factor time for my heart.  All this time I’ve been worried about the health of my heart (long story, probably will be another blog post) from a physical point of view, but that’s just it – I haven’t been looking after my heart at all, as I’ve been ignoring it and not listening to my heart, and not taking into consideration my heart’s desires, and not following my heart, and not making time to do the things that make my heart sing (ie keep it healthy and vibrant).

After all that, I’ve realised that it doesn’t matter necessarily if I remember the dream in minute detail.  In fact, what I’m starting to realise is that often it’s the times when I only remember a short fact about the dream that I feel like I have received the message I need.  For example, one time ‘I dreamt I was learning how to fly, and was struggling to get in the air’, or another time I woke up just remembering that in the dream I was on a cruise ship.  Both of these elements had messages for me in just those words themselves.

Often I find it’s when I write about the dream that I get the messages that I need, often in fleeting feelings, even if it doesn’t relate exactly to what the dream actually was.  Often when I first wake up, it’s the thought that first comes to me that gives me the message, not the actual events of the dream.  And the act of writing is what starts the flow of the communication with my inner self.

Back to my dream about avocados, they make me think of the good fats and oils that our bodies need.  Maybe my heart needs this for good health from a physical body perspective.

I’ve been finding that dreams can have more than one meaning or message.  I’m starting to give up on being OCD about finding out the meaning of the dream, and just letting the dreams start a dialogue with my inner self.

Yin and yang of soul and spirit

I’ve been listening to ‘The Map of Your Soul’ by Tricia Brennan as an Audio Book. The library service is such a valuable service which I really appreciate. I’ve really enjoyed being able to listen to books while I’m driving on my own (usually on the way to pick up one of the kids).

Anyway back to the book, she talks about so many things that either confirm what I have believed, or given a new perspective on theories about the soul and universal spirit. 

She talks about the soul being feminine in nature, and our spirit as being masculine in nature. I have always been drawn to the idea of yin and yang and this idea of the soul and spirit as being two different things is a relatively new idea for me, but it makes sense, and I can relate to it.  The first time I came across it was just a couple of weeks ago, when I wanted to bring up my blog on the web, and started typing it into the web address bar, but accidentally typed in ‘heal your soul’ without thinking, and the WikiHow page came up with that title.  This article (it doesn’t say who wrote it) also talked about the soul as feminine and the spirit as masculine and them being two different parts.  It was s new idea to me then but it made me feel excited at the concept and related to the yin/yang aspect of it. I’ve always just used soul/spirit as interchangeable. 

The fact that this idea came to me twice, I think the universe (or angels or spirit guides) wanted me to get the message. 

I wasn’t particularly drawn to the book however I had pulled over to the side of the road at the beginning of my drive to quickly pick an audio book to listen to, and so I just randomly picked that one.