Aching for self-love

[Edit. this was written as a draft in January 2018, but I have only just finished it and published now in February 2019, which just goes to show what a procrastinator I am. hehe]

The other night I woke in the night after having a dream.  In the dream I needed to ask a particular friend for advice on why I’m always so stiff and tight and sore.  When I woke I immediately thought this friend represented God. This is because (in real life) someone I know had lately been asking this same friend about something and had received quality advice from him, and then joked about how he revered him as if he were a god because he was always so knowledgeable and was someone he always turned to for guidance.  Therefore I took this dream as a message to ask God this question.  So in the morning, in my journal I put the question out there:

Dear God, thank you for being here for me.  What is causing all the stiffness, tightness and tenderness in all my muscles?  What can I do to stop it?  I let go of the question into the universe, and await the answer.  Thankyou!

[On a side point, also in that night, after the dream, I woke up another time and remembered that magnesium and ginger are both meant to be good for relaxing muscles.]

Later that day, I happened to take the book I Love Me (by David R Hamilton PhD) off the bookshelf to flip through.  I had bought it recently at the bookstore but hadn’t yet read it.  I was attracted to buying it as I’ve received many hints and messages to myself lately that I need to love myself and accept myself more to help heal the problematic areas of my life.

I randomly opened the book on the page where it talks about I am enough.  I knew instantly that these words were important for me to take notice of.  They had come to me via Instagram posts, and books etc and I had been feeling that it’s something I need to explore more.  The paragraphs in the book relating to ‘I am enough’ were really helpful. Interestingly when I flipped through the rest of the book, it didn’t really inspire me, so I knew that coming to that particular page about being enough was serendipity.

I then remembered about the question I had asked God in the morning in my journal.  And because the I am enough wording seemed to me to be a clear message, I wondered if this was the answer the universe had responded with.  And then the words ‘aching for love’ came to me, and I instinctively knew it meant aching for self-love.

[Just as I’m writing this, my back is screaming out for a massage, (and just as the word ‘screaming’ was coming to me, I was about to decide not to use it because it seemed too extreme, but then my right ear started itching so I figured that meant to listen, so I’m keeping the word).]

I am learning that giving myself love and knowing that I’m enough are two important life lessons for me.

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